‘Dead Men Tell No Tales’ gives us more reason why we need new content.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales tells the story of Captain Jack Sparrow in his search for the trident of Poseidon.

If it’s one thing that’s missing from Dead Men Tell No Tales is the magic of The Curse of the Black Pearl. Even the second and third instalments still have some essence of it but as soon as the unnecessary fourth and fifth instalments came around, we’re left scratching our heads.

The original movie that set this five movie series on it’s way over the last ten plus years was part of the reason why I wanted to get into filmmaking — the hilarious comedic writing combined with swashbuckling action by original writers Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott captured not only me but the audiences as well. And I’m not ashamed to say that I saw the film about four times in the cinemas alone and have worn down my copies on tape (yes, you read that right) and DVD. I loved the movie that much.

So when I heard there was to be a sequel, I was undoubtedly excited and in the end wasn’t too disappointed with the sequel or the three-quel. At this point, however, I’m just questioning why Disney and Producer powerhouse Jerry Bruckheimer wish to keep on rehashing a series that’s clearly dead.

The main reason a lot of people went to see the film in Johnny Depp’s ~Captain~ Jack Sparrow has lost his way, no longer the same actor or the same actor. It’s been thirteen years since The Curse of the Black Pearl and what made his character so captivating has lost its charm. He’s getting older and it truly shows. He hasn’t at all matured with his age and his star power losing its shine. Half that time, it seems like that Sparrow was just drunk. Not the tipsy we’re used to seeing Sparrow in previous instalments, he’s just drunk, tells terrible “jokes,” and contains none of the insane genius we grew to love him for.

It doesn’t help that the script was terribly poor, giving the rest of us more hope that we could one day write a feature film. Dead Men Tell No Tales does open to something hopeful, but it’s an annoyingly false hope that’s given to us. It loses it’s rhythm and it’s pacing all over the pace. There are characters that done need to be there and the entire project just lacks any dynamic.

Even though the decision to bring back Orlando Bloom’s Will Turner is a bright decision, he’s lack of involvement is disappointing, additionally so when Depp adds more than his fair share of flaws to the film. Much like Ryan Reynolds involvement in Life, Bloom’s screen time added up to no more than ten minutes at the most and was more than likely brought back to lure fans into the cinema

The only thing that really shone about the film, and the only thing that you’d remember the film by, is Javier Bardem’s Captain Salazaar. He’s such a creepily good villain, it’s no doubt that he did the best that he could with the role.

You could say that I’m disappointed in the film, but in all honestly, I could care less.

Film-O-Meter: 6/10.

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