‘A Bigger Splash’ is a waste of time, money, and talent.

A Bigger Splash tells the story of the vacation of a famous rock star and a filmmaker that’s disrupted by the unexpected visit of an old friend and his daughter.

The last thing I expected to see when I went out to see this star-studded film was both Matthias Schoenaerts and Ralph Fiennes packages, Dakota Johnson’s tits out for the majority of the film, and Tilda Swinton revealing herself in ways I didn’t want to see. It was disgusting and an overtly long pretentious piece of cinema I ultimately regretting going out for. It felt like the film was somewhat objectifying our four main characters because all they seemed to do was get drunk and have sex, especially, from what it seemed, to make each other jealous. If i wanted to see people naked, I would’ve turned to porn.

Apart from the poorly written script, there was a lack of direction given to at least three talented actors in Swinton, Fiennes, and Schoenaerts, there was nothing to really keep a hook on the audience and to even mildly entertain us for two hours. We know they can do so much better but they were left to struggle amongst themselves throughout the film. Johnson, however, continues to prove she’s hardly more than a pretty face and has yet to prove her acting chops.

Acting aside, the cinematographer needs to be fired because it was the most unfocused, unsteady, and uncomfortable piece of camera work I have seen in any film. Watching it on the big screen gave me motion sickness and its a surprise I didn’t have to excuse myself to the bathroom to be sick. The shots were unflattering and made it hard to engage in what was occurring within the scene. Saying that, it felt more like a situation than anything else with each of the scenes unable to find a flow between each other, feeling very staggered.

I find it very hard to find anything good to say about this film and desiring for the two hours of my life I wasted on watching this film.

Film-O-Meter: 1/10.


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