A godawful attempt at a ‘horror’ film.

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A Cure for Wellness
 tells the story of an ambitious young executive is sent to retrieve his company’s CEO from an idyllic but mysterious “wellness centre” at a remote location in the Swiss Alps, but soon suspects that the spa’s treatments are not what they seem.

The review for A Cure for Wellness is going to be a weird one to write. The best way, however, to describe this film is to say it’s Shutter Island but way worse — its disgusting and rapey and you’ll never look at Jason Isaacs with his faulty Swiss-German accent the same way ever again as he marries and goes to rape his underage daughter on the verge of womanhood. The trailer and the logline of the film completely mislead you to what this film is like. But it does well in what it does — and that’s being different. Even if this aspect is appreciated, it’s still uncomfortable at its core.

There is also so much unnecessary female nudity it’s ridiculous. Already being an asexual, this stuff already disgusting but even for my straight and sexually active friend, it was gross. And why is it always the females that are fully naked yet the men get to keep their modesty by covering up their privates? Seriously?

The first half of this film is decent in itself and is shot very well, something that can certainly be acknowledged, but the second half of the story made it feel like it went completely to waste. The whole film turns insanely silly and does no justice for itself. The film has more questions than answers, and I felt myself lost and bored, on my phone through the majority of the movie.

And when it does decide to go fully insane, it doesn’t seem to care about a question of taste, logic, duration, or novelty. Despite lead Dane DeHann’s acting talent, he somehow makes himself totally unlikeable.

Even if this film is an acquired taste, it’s disturbed and vomit inducing. Although it may linger into the absurd, it is watchable, but painfully so and the cinematography remains the best part of the whole project. It’s a bad attempt at a ‘horror film so do yourself a favour and avoid this mess.

Film-O-Meter: 0/10.

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